SATPA
by Chapin CSI
Summary: Sex and the Personal Assistant. Her vacation over, Pepper goes back home. But first, she drops by Tony's home. NEW: Pepper wasn't worried about staying overnight; they'd probably eat and work like they'd done before. But Tony's plans may be different...
1. Chapter 1

SATPA

(Sex and the Personal Assistant)

Part one

This is one of the first IM stories I started but kept putting off because I wanted to give it a little SATC flavor, (I even toyed with the idea of having Samantha turn up as Peppers friend), and to do that I needed to review my old tapes of Sex and the City... and I didnt have the energy.

Anyway, this is what I ended up with.

* * *

_'Tons of lace'. 'A sea of lace'_. Pepper smiled to herself, thinking of the ways she would describe Madame De L'Abadie's Boutique to her yoga classmates, back in California.

_A sea of lace and sequins and feathers…_

And her friend, Karen Morrison, was happily swimming through it, Pepper noticed; Karen's frilly shopping bag was filled to burst with gauzy, delicate pieces that bore names like, 'Midnight Seduction', 'Sunset Desires' and 'Purple Caresses' –nightgowns, in other words .But it would never do to ask for a 'nightgown' at a snooty place like Madame De L'Abadie's; or a 'bra.' Karen had spent the night before going over the entire catalogue, memorizing the names and descriptions of every item in it.

In French.

_Some things never change_, Pepper thought with a smile. Karen might not be the stocky tomboy she was when in high school anymore, but she was still as compulsive-obsessive as ever –more perhaps. She had planned their weekend in New York in painstaking detail, barely allowing them a chance to simply sit down and talk.

Not that Pepper had any complaints about that. She'd been looking forward to see Karen after 20 years of separation, but she was a little apprehensive about _talking_ to her.

Pepper dreaded meeting childhood friends. They'd known her as Virginia Potts, the thin, painfully shy girl who seemed destined to become an anonymous clerk in some anonymous office. That her brains might save her from that destiny had seem a possibility all along, but no one –absolutely no one- could have ever imagined she would end up in a top executive position in Stark Industries. That they were in awe of her (some more happily so than others) was obvious; that their interest would inevitably turn to their boss, Tony Stark, was even more obvious...

And Pepper did not like talking about Tony.

"Well, what about this one?"

Pepper looked up. Karen was holding a lacy thing in her hands, quite unrecognizable until she laid it across her voluptuous bosom. Oh. A bra.

"It looks uncomfortable," Pepper said.

"It's _beautiful_."

"It's useless. And it probably itches."

Karen turned to the nearest mirror and eyed herself critically.

"Yes. I suppose it does. Especially if you wear it at the office for hours at a time –which you shouldn't do." She glanced at Pepper. "_This_ is the Spanish Fly of bras, my friend. Wear it on a date, and you won't be waiting for him to make the first move; it's so uncomfortable, you'll be begging him to remove it from you." She paused. "Provided there's a _he_, of course," she added tentatively.

Pepper pretended not to hear. She studiously turned her attention to the sporty bras she preferred, knowing all along that it was only a matter of seconds before Karen spoke again… And a matter of minutes before she asked the dreaded question -the one that every friend or casual acquaintance asked at one point or another.

"So..." Karen said, letting the word trail off tantalizingly.

'Here it comes,' Pepper thought, bracing herself.

"How's it like to work for Tony Stark?"

"It's very interesting."

"He looks so intense in those pictures."

"He is."

"And he's so handsome."

"Yes," Pepper said, and she started counting to herself. _'3... 2... 1'_

"He radiates confidence; that's his secret, isn't it?"

"I suppose." Ok, so it would take another countdown: _3… 2… 1…_

"So... How much does he pay you?"

'This is a new one,' Pepper thought. Women never asked about pay; men did. But Karen was a CPA, so it was understandable.

Not that this fact would earned her a response.

But Karen didn't seem to expect one. "You must have great perks," she said wistfully. "Travel account… medical insurance…"

"I do," Pepper said.

"So, how's he in the sack?"

Pepper narrowed her eyes. "You were dying to ask me that question, weren't you."

"As a matter of fact, yes," Karen said brightly. "Hey, you can't blame; this is Tony Stark! Ohh, hoo!"

Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Put your pom-poms down or Madame De L'Abadie will ask you to _quitter le magasin_."

Karen glanced around guiltily, then back at Pepper. She lowered her voice.

"Well? Tell me!"

Pepper pretended to be engrossed by the bra in her hands. In the early days she'd gone to extremes to convince people she was not sleeping with her boss, but now she merely ignored the questions altogether. People never believed her anyway.

On the other hand, this was Karen, the one childhood friend who'd always supported her through good times and bad… A friend who'd made the effort to get back in touch…

"I'm not sleeping with him," she said. "Ok?" And she pointedly moved to the next aisle.

Encouraged by the reply, Karen followed her. "Have you ever -"

"No."

"Oh, come on. You can't expect me to -"

Pepper stopped abruptly and turned. Looming over Karen thanks to longer legs and the highest heels she owned, she said, very slowly, "Get this through your head, Karen: I've never slept with Tony Stark; I'll never with Tony Stark. He's my _boss_."

Suitably intimidated, Karen had taken a step back… for a second.

"That doesn't mean you can't have him," she said, springing back. "Ethics aside, are you really telling me you've never even _wanted_ to sleep with him?"

"Not at all."

"What about _him_? You're pretty, you're smart; surely he must have made a pass at you some time."

"I'm not his type," Pepper said firmly.

"Does he have a _type_?" Karen asked sarcastically. "From what I hear, he'll sleep with anything that breathes and moves."

"He flirts," Pepper admitted. "But he flirts with everybody. It's in his nature."

Karen eyed her friend critically. "Maybe if you wore something more daring; a backless dress, for instance; the way you're dressed right now says, 'I'm cold'."

"I _am_ cold. It's winter, remember?" She turned her attention back to the lingerie, and for a couple of minutes they walked around in companionable silence.

"I can't believe you," Karen said suddenly. "I mean, yes, I believe what you're saying, but I can't believe it, all the same. Are you telling me there've never been any awkward silences between you two, or any soulful looks, or whatever?"

Pepper sighed.

"Listen. There's something you should know about Tony Stark," she said, "And I don't think it's really a secret: He doesn't want emotional involvements of any kind."

"Oh."

"It's easy to go to bed with him, but if you do, you'll never see him again; and if you do see him again, you'll wish you hadn't."

Karen was suitably wide-eyed.

"Wow. Is he that bad in bed?"

"No," Pepper said quickly. "I'm only trying to explain what some girls feel after being with him. If all you want is a one-night stand then that's ok, but -"

"-but you're not that kind," Karen said gently.

"He values my work," Pepper said proudly. "We're friends."

"Friends?"

"Yes. Men and women can be friends, or didn't you know?"

"I see." Karen considered this for a moment. "So. You are not interested, and never have been…"

"Never."

Karen was silent for a moment.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"As long as it isn't about Tony Stark…"

"How many boyfriends have you had in the past five years?"

Pepper frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"How many, Virginia?"

"A couple," she said, avoiding eye-contact with her friend.

"And I bet you don't even remember their names anymore. Oh, Virginia," Karen sighed, "Don't you see? You've been comparing every man you meet to Tony Stark. And no matter how nice those guys are, they're just not him."

Pepper scoffed.

"Nice assessment, Dr. Morrison. Oh, wait a minute, you're not a shrink; you're a CPA."

"A brilliant CPA," Karen retorted. "One who has slept with a boss or two -"

"Ah, yes," Pepper said, "And how has that worked out for you?"

"Very well, thank you very much," Karen retorted. She paused. "Actually, it didn't work out well the first time," she said thoughtfully. "The bastard fired me. And the second time around, we were so uncomfortable with each other, he -" She stopped just in time. "Hey, this isn't about me." She stared at Pepper for a moment, then smiled. "D'you know what I think? I think you and Tony Stark have not really looked at each other all these years."

"Not look at each other –what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm serious. You're so comfortable as employer and employee that you don't see each other as man and woman anymore."

"What?"

Karen lowered her voice. "But one of these days you'll finally look at him -really look at him -"

Pepper rolled her eyes.

"And what?"

"- and you'll realize how you really feel. Until then -" she let the word trail off, then suddenly, her eyes lit up. "Until then, I think I have the perfect solution."

Pepper looked away.

"I am _not _hiring a look-alike escort, Karen."

"A look-alike? What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Pepper said. "Just some unfortunate suggestion I got from Danielle Zimmerstein. Remember her?"

"Well, that's not what I had in mind. Mine is a classier solution."

"Here it is," Karen said grandly.

Pepper sighed.

They were in the back room of a sleek adult shop –a tastefully decorated adult shop, tended by highly professional men and women; there was not a single weirdo in sight; no guys in trench coats lurking in corners, no perverts nervously thumbing lurid magazines... But sleek or not, an adult shop was an adult shop, and Pepper was uncomfortable in it, especially since the room they'd just entered seemed to house the world's largest collection of S&M paraphernalia.

"Is this your definition of 'classier?" Pepper mumbled.

"Oh, that," Karen said, casually glancing around. "That's not what we're here for. Follow me." She walked up to a softly-lit showcase at the end of the room. "There," she said, grandly waving at a half-dozen or so boxes resting on sumptuous black velvet.

Pepper frowned. "What are those?"

"Go ahead. Take a look."

Pepper did indeed take a look… then abruptly looked away. The boxes held vibrators of all sizes and colors.

"Oh, I can't believe it," she said, appalled. "You brought me here, just to -"

Karen laughed out loud. "Oh, don't be such a prude. FYI, _these_ are collector pieces, Pepper; untouched! See that one?"

Pepper reluctantly looked back. Karen was pointing at a large box that held center stage, clearly the jewel of this collection.

Potts gave it a cursory glance.

"Impressive," she said awkwardly.

Karen showed less restraint. She picked the box from its velvet nest and examined it closely. "You know whose this is?"

"How should I?"

"Here, take it," Karen said, offering it to her friend.

"I don't want it!"

"Ok, at least _look_ at it." Once she had Pepper's attention, she added, "That's him."

"Him, who?"

"Tony Stark."

Pepper froze.

"No way."

Karen started to laugh. "It's an authentic replica. It was made years ago, when he was going out with a wild crowd –right before Obadiah Stane reined him in." She looked back at the box. "Stane made sure every item was recalled, but there was nothing he could do about those already in private owners', ahem, hands."

"I don't believe you," Pepper said, but she wasn't that sure. Nothing Tony did surprised her anymore.

"Suit yourself." Karen turned the box in her hands. "Look at that," she said, looking at the picture on top. "Nice shape." She held it a while longer, then put it back in its place, with a little sigh of regret. "Maybe you're right," she said. "This was him fifteen years ago, after all. He might not look like this anymore."

"Body appendages grow with age," Pepper said, and why she felt like she needed to defend Tony's reputation, she couldn't imagine.

Karen looked back at the box with renewed interest. "Gee, then I'd like to see him _now_." She looked up. "You could buy it."

It took Pepper a couple of seconds to get her jaw to close. "I'm not buying that!"

Karen picked the box again. "You draw a large salary; you can afford it. Here," she said. "This is your chance to have Tony Stark even if you can't have him."

Pepper found herself pushing the box away. "I said no, Karen!"

"Ok," Karen said, taking the box back. "D'you mind if _I_ buy it?"

Pepper grabbed the box, put it back in its nest, and hauled Karen out of there.

* * *

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

SATPA

Part two

This story takes place a few days before Iron Man.

* * *

Pepper Potts took a sip of her orange juice, tasted it daintily, then determinedly dug into her omelette.

"That's disgusting."

Pepper looked up. Karen was sitting on the opposite side –not sitting, actually, but lounging in her seat. With dark glasses firmly in place, a cigarette in one hand, (unlit, in deference to Pepper), and a cup of coffee –very black- in the other, she looked the picture of old-fashioned glamour.

"How can you even eat," Karen added peevishly.

"Maybe because I didn't drink a pitcher of Margaritas last night," Pepper said reasonably. She had another bit of omelette, then, in growing concern for her friend, said, "Wouldn't you like some toast?"

"Yuck."

"Are you sure?" In a coaxing tone, she added, "I heard they put wine in the jam here."

"No, they don't," Karen replied. Languidly, she added, "I never eat in the morning, remember?"

Pepper didn't reply; instead she chewed ostentatiously, even making sounds of delight just to annoy her friend.

"God, you're irritating," Karen muttered. "I hope you don't act like this when Tony's hungover, because if you do -"

Pepper shook her head. "Actually, he takes very good care of himself. He never misses a meal. He'd certainly never eat a jar of olives and call it dinner," she added pointedly.

Karen sighed.

"Oh, ok. Fine. Here," she said, picking a piece of toast from Pepper's plate. She ate a corner of it. "There. Happy?" But now that she'd started, she couldn't put the toast down. Reluctantly, she put a little jam on it and ate the whole thing. She leant back into her seat again, as if the strain of eating had drained her. She was silent for a moment, then, "I'm glad we had this weekend."

She wasn't a sentimental person, so those words were the equivalent of an emotional outburst.

Pepper put her fork down.

"Me, too."

"Promise me you'll keep in touch."

"I'm sorry, but aren't you the one who replies to my weekly messages only once in a while?"

Karen smiled.

"Just because I don't write back doesn't mean I don't read your messages. Promise me you'll keep writing -"

"I promise."

"- and send me pictures of Malibu -"

"I will."

"And wear the blue dress -"

Pepper hesitated.

"Oh, I don't know -"

"Oh, come on, Virginia; you've got to!"

"- it's too daring; it has no back, it has no front -"

"- and you look gorgeous in it," Karen cut in. "And we spent a whole afternoon looking for it, so now you've just got to wear it. Please." She removed her glasses then. Her eyes were bloodshot, making her plea to Pepper all the more heart-wrenching. "Pleeease."

Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I will." Pause. "If I find a suitable occasion for it."

"Pu-leeze. Are you telling me you and Tony never attend parties together?"

"This is not a cocktail dress, Karen. This is a dress you wear at a big ball, and the only one I can think of is more than three months away, so -"

"Then wait three months," Karen said reasonably. She smirked. "Tony's gonna fall to his knees when he sees you in that dress."

"No, he's not. He never attends the Stark Benefit."

"What? Do you mean I spent hours helping you find the perfect hook-up dress only to have it wasted on some stupid accountant from Stark Industries?"

"Those accountants are far from stupid," Pepper said placidly; "And some of them are really quite cute. Who knows? Thanks to you, I could be married this time next year. Isn't that wonderful?" She smiled, and after a moment Karen smiled back. They'd spent the entire weekend sparring like this.

"Ah, well," Karen said, "As long as you wear it." She picked her glasses but didn't immediately put them on. "I want proof, by the way. I want pictures; I want -"

"I'll send you some of me, dancing with Bobby, the mailroom guy."

"Does he look like Tony Stark? 'Cause if he does, you have my blessing."

"A blessing from the devil," Pepper muttered.

"I heard that," Karen replied. She was silent for a moment, then, "Are you going to see Tony today?"

"I'm not scheduled to return to work till tomorrow, and he never goes to the company on Monday, so, no."

"So? Go to his house then." More animatedly, Karen said, "You left your car at the airport, didn't you? Well, then: you drive to his home -"

"No way. I'll be too tired after the long flight."

"You'll be flying first class. No one gets tired on First Class. So, you drive to his place, you give him those pretzels you bought –they're for him, aren't they?" Pepper didn't reply but she flushed, which was enough of an answer. "That was a great idea, by the way, Virginia; men love it when you buy them food. Anyway; you feed him, then you give him one of those massages I was telling you about -"

"Karen…"

"Oh, trust me on this; he'll love it. It'll be good for him; it'll be good for you…"

"Not for my resume, it won't. Besides, he's got his own chiropractor."

Karen crossed her arms.

"Fine. Don't follow my advice. One of these days some supermodel's gonna snatch Tony, and you'll realize you were wrong not to listen to me. And then -"

"And then, what?"

"You're gonna cry," Karen said spitefully. "A lot."

Pepper scoffed. Smiling, she pushed her plate in Karen's direction. There was a third of the omelette still in it, and some toast.

Karen looked at the food, then at Pepper.

"If I eat this, will you go see him today?"

"Yes," Pepper said without missing a beat. "I will."

Karen started then, scoffed. "God, you're such a liar." She picked the fork though. "Will you at least do me a favor? Next time you see him -"

"I am not kissing him, Karen."

"Who said anything about a kiss? All I want you to do is take a close look at his, er, package. I am NOT buying that vibrator till I have proof it's his dick and not somebody else's."

Pepper flushed to the tip of her ears.

Later that day….

Pepper had been perfectly honest with her friend; there was no reason for her to see Tony that day. She'd checked on her messages and nothing out of the ordinary had occurred at Stark Industries; she could (and should) go home with a clear conscience.

So, how to explain the fact that she was driving into Tony's property right now? She, who rarely strayed from her self-imposed schedules, had taken a sudden turn off the highway and come here, instead of driving home like she'd originally planned.

She didn't know why she did it -

_Or maybe you do and don't want to admit it. _

Pepper rolled her eyes. That's exactly what Karen would have said had she been there, and in a weird way, it felt as if she actually was.

It was the downside to their visits together, Pepper thought with a sigh; Karen's words followed her for days afterwards -not just phrases from actual conversations, but words she might have said in a similar situation. And while there was a time when she'd drawn comfort from those words –back when she was newly arrived in Los Angeles, for instance- now she found them annoying. And not a little disturbing.

_I think it's sweet. I'm your best friend, after all._

"Maybe I need new friends," Pepper muttered.

_But who else would you tell your darkest, deepest secrets?_

Pepper scoffed. She had no dark secrets.

"And even if I had –"

_There's only one secret that interests me, anyway. It's dark and Stark._

Pepper smiled despite herself.

* * *

tbc

So, how will Tony react when Pepper comes in a day early? Did he even notice she was not there?


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Ha, didn't think I'd post a new chapter so soon, right?

I can't believe it myself.

Writing in English's such a huge problem I should write in Spanish but for some reason that's even harder! damn.

* * *

A soft light came on as she entered the house.

"Welcome back Miss Potts."

"Thank you, JARVIS."

"We did not expect you today."

"It was a last-minute decision." She was apologetic; she was the one who'd entered her entire schedule in JARVIS' data base in the first place.

Unlike humans, however, JARVIS didn't hold a grudge.

"I hope you enjoyed your trip."

"I did, JARVIS; thank you." She grinned. JARVIS alone made the long drive worthwhile. It felt good to be welcome back, even if it was only to a voice. "Is Mr. Stark home?"

"Yes Miss Potts. He is downstairs."

"Is he alone?"

"Yes."

'Good,' she thought. If he had a date in there, she'd turn and leave.

_Oooh. Jealous, are we? _

Pepper closed her eyes. Yes, it really was as if Karen was there.

'I'm only being discreet,' she thought peevishly.

_Do you seriously expect me to believe that?_

"Oh, leave me alone," Pepper muttered.

"As you wish, Miss Potts;" JARVIS said promptly; "How long should I suspend communications?"

"Oh, no, I didn't mean you, JARVIS! I was only thinking aloud."

"I understand. Mr. Stark thinks aloud too. Only his language is usually more colorful."

_So, he swears like a trooper. Yet he looks so suave, so sophisticated… I can't wait to meet him._

Pepper smirked. Ah, yes. Karen hadn't been subtle about her wish to meet Tony Stark. She'd dropped all sorts of hints but Pepper never issued an invitation.

Finally, Karen had said, "You just can't bear the thought of me and Tony Stark together."

"You don't need my help," Pepper retorted. "You have money and connections. You can arrange a meeting with him any time you want."

"Oh, I'd never let a man stand between us, Virginia," Karen said sweetly. Then, resuming her femme fatale personna, she added, "Letting one lie down between us is another matter. I've heard 3 is Tony Stark's favorite number."

Smiling at the memory, Pepper opened a drawer and took a clipboard and a pen, plus a printed list of supplies to check. She hadn't come simply to visit; she had a job to do.

_Oh, how very virtuous of you._

'You could learn something from me.'

_I'm not the one who asked if he had a date, my friend._

…

Armed with clipboard and pen –and a bag of New York pretzels firmly wedged between those and her chest- Pepper tip-toed downstairs. Not that she could ever hope to take Tony by surprise -not with a security system that alerted him the minute anyone drove into his property- she just liked to pretend she could. There was a look that came to his face whenever the unexpected happened; a double-take, what-the-hell-is-this-and-isn't-it-awesome look that happened mostly when he was in the workshop, with her as the only witness.

She loved that look.

_I knew it, I KNEW IT!_

Pepper paused in mid-step. She'd told Karen (over and over) that she didn't notice Tony's looks, except when her duties as Personal Assistant required her to. "It's called ethics," she'd added primly.

Karen had not believed a word of it.

_Damn right I didn't! Oh, you are such a liar!_

'I'm not!' Pepper almost said the words out loud. 'So I notice Tony's looks now and then; so what?' she thought defiantly; 'How could I not?'

_And? Do you like what you see?_

Pepper hesitated a couple of seconds, then slowly made her way downstairs.

_Do you like what you see?_

She ignored the question again. Instead, she walked to the workshop and peered inside.

Tony was sitting at his workbench that day. He was hunched over a piece of machinery, carefully turning it in his hands, looking closely at it -reverently, as if it were a precious object.

On a hunch, she glanced at the control panel at the door: he didn't have any music on, and that was another clue: he was working on something for the military. She knew that look; right now, there was nothing else in the world worth his attention. He probably didn't even notice that Dummy the robot was at the dishwasher again.

That alone should have prompted her to go inside, but she stalled.

She was wondering what his reaction was gonna be when she walked in. Past experience told her he'd probably look up, smile at her, say something casual like, 'Hey, Potts,' and then go back to his work, just as if he never noticed she was gone for three days. Oh, he would probably ask her a couple of questions about her trip later on –nothing intrusive, of course- but that would be it.

He probably wouldn't even listen to anything she said anyway.

_And whose fault is that? If I were Tony Stark's PA, I'd make sure he paid attention to me._

Pepper smiled despite herself. Karen just didn't get it. She didn't understand that there were boundaries; lines one just didn't cross.

Reassured, Pepper entered her password at the door and went in.

"Good evening, Mr. Stark," she said, her smile belying the formality.

As expected, he didn't look surprised.

"Hey, Potts," he said good-naturedly. He spared a brief glance at her outfit -not one of her usual black suits, but a set of cream-colored pants and jacket- and that was all.

She was just as casual.

"I'm going to check on supplies," she said, tapping her clipboard.

"Oh. Ok. Get me some peaches," he added, his attention already wandering away.

Pepper smiled. It was just as she'd imagined. And she knew better than to ask him what he was working on. It wasn't a matter of secrecy; Tony was voluble enough when and if he wanted to. He just needed to do things in his own time.

Instead, she went to the pantry. She put the pretzels on a top shelf, then did a quick inventory of provisions, mostly dry food and beverages, since Tony didn't cook downstairs.

They were running low on cereal… coffee… protein supplements…

_Aw, look at you; making lists like a good little wife…!_

Pepper narrowed her eyes. Leave it to Karen to make fun of her tasks –the few Pepper had told her about. Now her comments, (some snide, some spot-on), would be surfacing at all times.

'But I'm not gonna let it bother me,' Pepper thought firmly.

She gave one last look at the pantry, then checked on Dummy's progress as a dishwasher. Against her expectations, the robot was getting better at it; there was nothing broken in there at least. Tony had reprogrammed it well.

She looked over her shoulder then. She'd been glancing at Tony from time to time and now that she had a perfect view of his back -

_A view of his perfect back, you mean._

- she noticed the hair curling on the back of his neck.

_Oh, how I'd love to run my hands through that thick hair... Wouldn't you?_

Pepper shook her head as if to shoo a mosquito away, then made a quick note to schedule Tony's next haircut.

Tony straightened up then. He rotated his neck a couple of times to ease the tension –a sign that he'd been sitting too long- then gingerly settled back on his chair.

'He needs to take a break,' Pepper thought, vaguely concerned.

_What about a massage? He'll love it, believe me. It'll be good for him…it'll be good for you…_

Pepper shook her head in exasperation. There was no need for her to –

Tony turned then, not to look at her but at his computer, and as he did, he unwittingly offered her a view of his body on profile.

_Oh, good! You can start making comparisons!_

'No way!'

_Aw, it's just a little favor…_

Those had been Karen's parting words to her. "Take a close look at his crotch, Virginia; only you can tell me if The Tony really is his!" And she'd laughed at Pepper's embarrassment. "Aw, it's just a little favor! Besides... Wouldn't you like to know too?"

And Pepper couldn't help it; she ventured a glance.

It was silly, of course. There was no way she could tell from just a look -not while he was wearing clothes, anyway -

_Exactly. Wait till he's in the shower!_

Pepper abruptly looked away. Mildly annoyed with herself, she opened the fridge and made a quick mental note of all that was needed. She'd started to write everything down when a sound made her look over her shoulder again.

Tony had moved to a side table, the one where he kept all sort of gels and lubricants. He was already applying a thick layer of lubricant on the device, carefully smoothing it all over.

Pepper smiled. Now, this was a side of Tony Stark that only a few knew of. To most people, he was a man who cared about his personal appearance to the point of obsession. But the real Tony Stark was remarkably unafraid of getting dirty -or worse: despite having the latest in technology at his disposal, (most of it of his own creation), he still trusted his senses more, which sometimes led to accidental burns and cuts.

It was nothing he couldn't deal with on his own, but Pepper couldn't help glancing now and then just the same.

_Ah, yes; I'm sure that's the only reason you keep looking._

Guiltily, Pepper looked back at her list. She really tried focusing on it, but Karen's words kept intruding.

_You two look so good together. You should take a closer look at your pictures sometime._

Which was a ludicrous notion, in Pepper's humble opinion, She looked at their pictures all the time –she had to; keeping track of Tony's appearances in public was a big part of her job. She'd looked at hundreds of pictures, and she could swear there was nothing out of the ordinary in them.

But try telling that to Karen.

_You're doing it the wrong way. Try looking at him as if you're meeting him for the first time._

Pepper rolled her yes. How could she do that? She _knew_ Tony; she knew him too well, perhaps.

And yet… It was an intriguing proposition, now that she thought it over. What if she were meeting Tony Stark for the first time?

Carried away by curiosity, she turned and gave him a covert look. She took note of little details first: the faint smudges on his face, for instance, left as he'd brushed his hair back with dirty fingers; the clothes -baggy blue jeans; black wife beater (his favorite, and if he kept wearing it this often, it'd have to be replaced, and soon, so she needed to make a note...).

And as she watched him, she gradually began noticing other things - the subtle movement of muscles under taught skin, for instance; the shadow of long eyelashes over cheekbones… the tip of his tongue, peeking at a corner of his mouth…

His mouth…

"Do you like what you see?" had been Karen's constant question. Pepper had refused to answer it as irrelevant, "I just don't have an opinion," she'd said every time.

But now...

* * *

TBC

I swear Tony will eventually remember he's not alone in there!


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

* * *

_Do you like what you see?_

Pepper bit her lip. 'Sometimes.'

_Oh, come on! You could at least be honest to yourself. _

Pepper stalled for a couple of seconds, then smiled ruefully. Yes, she could.

'Oh, all right. I like what I see.' She liked _all_ his looks; she liked him even when he didn't particularly care about his appearance, which wasn't often. 'But that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him,' she thought testily; 'Or that I harbor secret feelings for him, for God's sake. I care, that's all.'

Like right now, for instance. He wasn't merely lubricating that thing; he was looking for flaws too. He could easily hurt himself while doing so.

_Oh, I'd look too, if I were in your place. He's got beautiful hands._

Pepper agreed, (though she hadn't said so when Karen first brought up the subject). Strong and capable, Tony's hands could handle the harshest materials, but they were sensitive enough to handle the finest objects of art.

And they spoke for him sometimes, better than words could.

His hands –

_Ever wonder what those hands would feel like?_

'No!' She almost said the word out loud. Actually, she wasn't sure she hadn't but fortunately, Tony was so focused on his task he wouldn't have noticed if she did. He'd probably already forgotten she was there.

_And whose fault is that?_

Pepper closed her eyes for a second. 'Please, leave me alone,' she thought, then determinedly started taking notes again.

But the little voice in the back of her head was relentless.

_I wonder what it's about him that make women want to go back even though he's been a jerk._

'He's not a -'

_Of course he is. But I swear, I wouldn't mind being treated like a piece of metal by him._

'I don't doubt that.'

_I mean, look at him!_

Pepper took a deep breath. She did not want to look. There was no reason for her to -

But she did.

And there was nothing special going on. Tony was still working on the same piece. His fingers, shiny with oil, were burrowing deep into the contraption's crevices, then surfacing again, only to plunge back. He was simply making sure this thingy was absolutely perfect, just like he did with each and every piece that went into whatever it was that he was working on, be it a car or a missile.

It was really nothing Pepper hadn't seen before, yet for some reason she found it difficult to tear her eyes away. She couln't immediately pinpoint what it was. Tony acted like this all the time, yet to her, there was something… suggestive about the way his hands were moving today. It was almost as if…

It was as if he were doing this for pleasure.

To a mesmerized Pepper, it almost looked as if he was _caressing_ that thing.

_You neglect him so badly he has to resort to gadget masturbation!_

Pepper closed her eyes again. Why –oh, why- did Karen's words seem so appropriate today?

_Admit it, Virginia: you'd love to know what being with him is like._

'No.'

_Liar. I mean, don't you ever wonder?_

'I don't!' She wasn't lying. She'd trained herself not to wonder; she was adamant about NOT having those thoughts anymore!

_Oh, so you did think about it._

Pepper bit her lip again. All right then. She did wonder. Not often, and not lately, but she had. Sometimes she thought she knew what being with Tony Stark was like, except, well, how could she, really? Once, in the beginning of their association, she'd accidentally entered his suite while he had a woman in there and frankly, she wasn't impressed. True, she didn't stay long enough to really know what was going on, but her impression was that the woman was faking it. Those passionate _"oh my God, oh, my God, Tony, oh, OH, TONY!"_ were obviously designed to flatter Tony's ego. They had to be!

But now she wasn't so sure. Looking at Tony, (looking at him as if for the first time), looking at the way his hands moved, she could easily believe that woman's enthusiasm was real. Looking at him right now, Pepper could easily imagine what being with him was like. He'd probably have that same look of concentration on his face. And his hands would explore her body just like this –maybe right there, on the workbench. Was that what he did when he brought dates here? Did he have them lie down there, naked and vulnerable, while he looked at them just like this and explored their bodies like this…?

She could see it. She could almost feel it. Yes, could almost feel his fingertips on her skin. If that were her on the workbench, she'd close her eyes –no. No, she'd look up. She'd look and see his eyes burning with love and desire. And then he would lean closer and closer, and he would tilt his head a little so his lips fit hers at the right angle, and then, just before he kissed her, he would smile and say her name… 'Pepper.'

"Pepper."

She blinked with a start.

Tony had spoken to her. He was standing now, wiping his hands on an old wife-beater of his, (a worn-out version of the one he was wearing today); and by the way he was looking at her, it was obvious he'd just said asked her something.

"Sorry?"

"How was New York?" he asked good-naturedly, then frowned when she failed to answer. "Hey. You ok?"

"Yes," she said abruptly. Then, more cordially, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Good," he said, still looking attentively at her. A bit concerned, too, apparently. "So. Did you and your friend have a good time?"

"Yes. Yes, we did. She -"

_One day you'll look at him; really look at him. And he will look at you too. And you'll wonder why you never -_

'Shut up!' Aloud, Pepper said, vengefully, "Oh, Karen said some of the stupidest things I've ever heard, but we had a great time."

"Whoa. And here I thought she was your smartest friend." He half-turned to toss the dirty t-shirt on a corner, unwittingly offering her a clear outline of his crotch, and Pepper instinctively looked at it.

Unfortunately, Tony turned back just then.

"What is it?"

Caught staring, Pepper played dumb. "What?"

Tony self-consciously checked his fly, then looked up.

He was frowning. "Were you looking down at…?"

"No, I wasn't." 'Damn you, Karen!'

He seemed sincerely puzzled, then suddenly his eyes lit up. "Oh, I get it."

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He touched his belt. "You're thinking of that buckle; the one I was checking on E-bay. You wanted to get it for my birthday, right? I mean, on the company's behalf."

"I... don't..."

"I know I'm not supposed to know," Tony added, "But it's not like Obie's been that discreet. He's planning something big for my 40th birthday, right?"

"I told him you wouldn't like it."

"Oh, what the hell," he shrugged. "Let him plan. I'll just make myself scarce the big day."

He smiled mischievously and after a moment, she smiled back. They did that very often, she realized; smile at each other in complicity, no words necessary.

"Anyway," Tony said, "That buckle's not available anymore; I bought it last night."

"Oh. Oh, bummer," she said, pretending regret and not making a very good job of it. "I'll have to think of something else."

"Aw, you don't have to get me anything. You know what I'd rather have? A pizza like the one you brought the other day. The one your Italian neighbor made." He smiled.

Pepper didn't reply. She was looking at him –really looking, as Karen had said. He looked good -he always did, even when he was sweaty and slightly rumpled like today. But there was something else there; he looked relaxed and, well, happy, and -

Happy? She felt her heart do a little tumble. Could it be that he was happy to see her…?

Confused, she dropped her gaze, but she couldn't keep from looking at him either. She focused on the stains on his face and neck instead, but if she thought that would be safer she was mistaken, because all of a sudden she felt a sudden urge to wash him clean.

Oh, yes. She'd gladly use her own silk blouse to do it –heck, she'd take it off right now if she had to.

She'd clean him up and then she'd make him lie down on that workbench -no; first, she'd remove every single piece of clothing that covered him; then, once he was naked and completely at her mercy, she would –

Oh, God – she would -

"Hey, Potts?"

Pepper blinked in surprise. Tony was standing right in front of her, but she never saw him move. She'd spaced out for a second time!

Tony was frowning.

"You ok? You're flushing."

"I'm coming -" she gulped. "- down with something." She cringed, the moment she said those words. God, couldn't she come up with a better excuse? You didn't get sick while in the employment of Mr. Tony Stark, and if you did, then you kept the fact to yourself!

_Oh, this is too funny_.

To his credit, Tony didn't visibly recoil.

"But you never get sick. Do you have a fever or something?" He hesitated, then awkwardly touched her forehead. He raised an eyebrow. "You're burning up."

"No, I'm not."

_Liar. _

"I'm fine, Tony," Pepper said casually; "But, hum, maybe it'd be best if I -" she tilted her head in the door's direction.

Tony was still frowning. "Are you sure?"

"Of course!" she said cheerfully –too cheerfully. She started backing away from him but unfortunately, Tony took a sudden interest in her and started following.

"You know, I can call Happy, if you want."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. Really, I'm -"

"I mean, if you're running a fever -"

"I'm fine, Tony. It's just a -" Think fast, think fast! "It's just a little cold. I'd better go," and she promptly turned to the door.

"If you say so." He paused. "You can always stay here, you know."

_Oh, my God, did I hear what I just heard?_

Pepper paused in mid-step. Slowly, she turned. "What did you say?"

"Stay tonight. Take the guest room."

"I… I don't know -"

"And if you need a doctor, there are plenty in the neighborhood." He was clearly warming up to the idea. "Come on; it's not like this is the first time you've slept over. Remember the last time I got audited?"

She smiled reluctantly.

"I remember all the pizza we ate that night."

"We'll eat Thai this time," he said amiably. "And I'll fix you some of my special herbal tea; it's guaranteed to kill any infection." He paused. "Well, not _every_ infection," he added with a smirk.

"Ha, ha," she said. She hesitated. "It's nice of you, Tony. I just don't think I should." She knew how highly he valued his privacy.

"I insist," he said. He smiled, "I know my virtue's safe with you here."

Pepper forced a smile. "Yes, it is."

But she wasn't sure of that. She wasn't sure at all.

* * *

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

* * *

Mechanically, Pepper went back to the garage. She needed a few things from her car, and she was mentally going over the list, ('toiletries… clean underwear…') not because she might forget, but because she needed to drown the pesky little voice in the back of her head.

_Oh. My. God. You're going to spend the night with Tony Stark! Oh, my -_

"Toothbrush," Pepper said aloud as she opened the trunk, then an uncharacteristic, "Oh, crap!" because she'd forgotten it was filled to bust with shopping bags. A garment bag rolled to the floor and she had to dive for it.

It was her no-front, no-back blue dress -the one Karen called the 'perfect hook-up dress' -and the sight of it drew a mischievous smile from Pepper.

'Wonder what she'd call it if she knew it's my birthday present from Tony'.

Not that it was exactly _from_ him -he didn't keep track of birthdays; Pepper had simply charged it on his corporate account, (another little fact she'd kept from Karen, who would have probably called the whole thing pathetic).

_Not __pathetic; sad. _

Pepper shook her head in exasperation before setting the dress aside.

_You__ do know what's next, don't you? You'll start sending yourself flowers in Tony's name. Or teddy bears with balloons; you'll sign his name on the cards -you probably sign his name better than he does, anyway..._

'I do,' Pepper thought with a little shrug. It was part of her job -a job she got handsomely paid to do. She deserved every penny, and if she could get a nice dress on top of that… well, why not?

_Oh, I'm glad you__'re getting those little extras. You should have bought the shoes too._

Pepper rolled her eyes. She would have bought the shoes, but Karen's opinions, ("Not those! Those aren't sexy enough! "Get something Tony can enjoy looking at; something with lots of straps and stripper's heels!"), had made it impossibleand Pepper _Not those! Get something sexier; .__stripper's heels! _And

Smiling to herself, Pepper picked her suitcase and opened it. Everything she needed was packed at the bottom, so she simply dug a hand under her clothes.

"Toothbrush… Underwear…" She picked each item and set it aside.

_Cotton panties__? Oh, Virginia -_

"Deodorant…"

_If you'd listened to me, you'__d have some lovely lacy panties instead!_

'I can't wear lace. It scratches.'

_They're__ not meant to stay on all day long, Virginia; God, how many times do I have to tell you? _

'Well, you've only told me fifty times so far, so… I'd say you have fifty more to go.'

_Please__, PLEASE, tell me you have a silk teddy in there._

Pepper smiled. 'Cotton pajamas will have to do.'

_Pajamas? You're about to spend the night with Tony __Stark and you're going to wear pajamas?_

Pepper dug into the suitcase again. 'First of all, I am not spending the night _with_ him; secondly, cotton pajamas are perfectly suitable; thirdly -' but she didn't finish that thought. She was having some difficulty getting her pajamas; there was something weighing them down –she honestly had no idea what, and then suddenly she remembered, and it was the weirdest thing, because this box had been in her thoughts all day yet she'd honestly forgotten she'd put it there herself.

Pepper stared incredulously at the suitcase. Was her guilty conscience playing tricks on her? When she thought of the things she'd done to get that box… Telling Karen she wanted to buy a rare book for a colleague -knowing full well that Karen would rather try flats than browse old books- and then going to that other store and telling the attendant she was running an errand for her friend Karen, who wanted a certain item… A very exclusive item they'd seen the day before. And then rushing back to the hotel and frantically looking for a place to hide the box to keep it from Karen's prying eyes -

_What do you mean, 'prying eyes?' Are you keeping secrets from me?_

Pepper blushed to the tips of her ears.

"Oh, God," she thought. 'I'm not cut out for this.' She wasn't a duplicitous person –'I am not,' she added firmly, even though there was proof to the contrary right there in her suitcase. If Karen ever found out -not that Pepper intended to tell her, and even if she told her, Karen would never believe it. Pepper herself didn't quite believe it. If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes –

Actually, she hadn't, come to think of it. The store's manager had offered to give her a demonstration, but she'd balked at that. She didn't need to _know_ what it could do, and she certainly didn't want that man to test its speed; all she wanted to do was to buy it and get it out of there.

But now that she was alone, she was curious, all of a sudden.

Her eyes fell back on the suitcase.

Almost on its own volition, her hand moved back inside.

She knew it wasn't the most prudent thing to do –not with a dozen security cameras following her every move –but it wasn't like she was going to open the box; she just wanted to make sure it was what it was supposed to be.

Determined, Pepper carefully pulled her pajamas and unfolded them. The box was wrapped in satiny paper –solid black paper, which she appreciated at the time, because the last thing she wanted was to advertise the fact that she'd been in an adult store, (which is why she'd tossed the tote bag they'd given her to put her box in; tasteful or not, the 'Pleasure Dome' logos were a dead give-away).

Pepper ripped a bit of black paper at a corner, and the item's name stood out in bold black against white: _The Tony._

_Oh, you didn't. _

Pepper smiled.

_YOU DIDN'T!_

'Oh, yes, I did, my friend.'

_You got my Tony? YOU GOT MY TONY!__ Oh, you're such a hypocrite! _

Pepper's smile widened. Oh, yes; Karen _would_ be pissed if she knew. Pepper almost wished she could call her and tell her she'd been bested this time; that The Tony was already safe in her suitcase while Karen boasted of all the things she was going to do with it.

It had cost her a small fortune but as Karen said, she could afford it.

_At least, tell me you're g__oing to use it. _

Pepper paused. Use it?

_Oh, please, tell me you are!_

Pepper frowned. She hadn't planned on using it. She'd only bought it because, well…

_Well? _

Pepper ignored the question. Instead, she turned the box in her hands; it was heavier than she'd first thought; heavy and fairly long –but that was probably mostly padding, wasn't it?

_Well, is it?_

Pepper frowned. Did it really matter?

_Oh, y__es it does! _

Pepper bit her lip. Pepper turned the box in her hands in hesitation. She could wait till she went home –she _should_ wait till she went home- but a little voice in the back of her head was pushing her into quick action.

_Open it, open it, open it!_

'No way. I'm gonna wait till I get home and then, after I close all the doors and all the windows –'

_Open it, open it open it!_

Then, more reasonably: _The measurements are _on_ the box. _

Of course! Pepper remembered seeing something about inches on the opposite end of the box. All she had to do was peel back another bit of the flimsy black paper... There.

This time she uncovered a very detailed picture of the item.

_Beautiful, isn't it?_

Pepper shrugged.

'It's all right, I suppose.'

_Well, well, Miss Pernicket__y; I suppose you've seen better?_

Pepper smiled despite herself.

_But what about the size? _

Pepper peeled another strip of paper while carefully keeping a hand over the uncovered area so the cameras wouldn't pick on the images.

Ironically, security cameras were the least of Pepper's problems; it was the human element she should have been looking out for. One human in particular, who on that day had decided to act like a panther silently stalking its prey.

One moment Pepper was alone with her thoughts (and the box), then the next Tony Stark popped right next to her, seemingly out of nowhere.

"So! You got your things?"

Pepper lost it. Literally and figuratively; she jumped, and she said something that sounded like 'oh, sh-! ' not just because she'd just been scared out of her wits, but also because she let the box slip out of her hands. She saw what happened next as if in slow motion: she reached for the box, Tony reached for the box, and then, like the world's worst jugglers, they kept the box in the air for a couple of seconds, then both failed to catch it.

The box fell on the floor with a crash.

"I got it!" Pepper said, but Tony gallantly waved her back.

"It's ok," he said, "I got it." He picked it but didn't immediately hand it back. Ignoring Pepper's outstretched hand, he gave it a little shake.

"It's not broken," he said good-naturedly. "But if it is, let me know and I'll personally see that you get a replacement."

"I'm sure it's ok -"

"Well, you gotta make sure. What is this thing anyway?" He gave the box a casual look, then did a double take. He was staring at the exact spot where Pepper had peeled the paper.

_The Tony_ logo stood out in glorious black on white.

Tony's eyes widened.

"Hey! I hadn't seen one of these in years! Where did you -" He didn't finish. He'd just realized what he was looking at, and his initial thrill gave way to what was possibly the closest thing to embarrassment Tony had ever experienced: His cheeks colored. He looked up sharply, and for a moment they stared at each other, both looking like deer caught under the headlights.

Pepper opened her mouth but she couldn't think of one coherent thing to say.

Tony dropped his gaze first. He gently put the box in Pepper's outstretched hand, then glanced in her direction.

'Oh, God,' she thought, 'He can't even look at me in the eye anymore!'

_Oh, this is too funny!_

Pepper gulped.

"Ah… I… I saw this in New York, and -"

"New York," he repeated. He clearly didn't know what to say.

She didn't, either. "Uh, huh," was all she could manage.

"I thought they were all in private collections," he said quietly.

"It was," she said quickly. She didn't have the heart to tell him that, though only a privileged few ever saw The Tony, it hadn't been in a private collection.

"So, how did you -"

"Oh. Well, Karen -"

"Your friend."

"Yes. Karen has this friend in New York. He has a, hum, museum, and -"

"Oh. I see." He was silent for a moment, then he reached out and tapped the box with a knuckle. "Obie destroyed most of those."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. He said it was embarrassing for Stark Industries," he said quietly. "So, he bought the remaining stock and incinerated it." He smiled sheepishly. "Boy, was he pissed when he found out. That vein in his forehead looked like it was gonna explode."

"Oh, no," she smiled back. She could picture it. Obie's vein was legendary.

"So, if you were thinking of showing him this…"

"Oh, God, no; I wouldn't do that," she said quickly. "I only bought it because..."

_Go on. Tell him why you bought it. Go ahead._

He was looking questioningly at her now.

"... because Karen said she wanted it, and -"

Tony nodded in comprehension.

"So, you bought it for your friend."

"I…" Actually, she'd bought it to keep Karen (or anyone else) from buying it. But he was offering her a way out and she took it. "Yes. I got it for her. I hope you don't mind."

"No. No, not at all. I mean, she's your best friend, so -"

"Yes. But you can have it if you want it."

Those words somehow broke the tension. He smiled genuinely this time.

"Nah. Why would I want it? It's just something I did when I was a kid."

"A kid?"

"I was nineteen. I think. I was broke, believe it or not."

"Broke? But I thought you had an allowance till you turned 21."

"I did, but I also had expensive friends," he said ruefully. "I needed five grand in a hurry, and so I -" He let the word trail off. He looked at her for a moment, then he snorted. "This has got to be the most surreal conversation we've ever had, Potts."

"Pretty much," she said, and she smiled back.

Tony glanced at the open trunk.

"Do you need help with your stuff?"

"No," she said. "It's ok. I only needed a few things." She realized she still had that box in her hands, so she added, "I was putting this back inside, when -"

"When I ambushed you," he finished. "I'm sorry I did that." He looked at her for a moment, "I'll be inside," he said, and then he started to walk away. "I'm gonna cook tonight."

"Oh, yes?" she asked skeptically. "And what are we having?"

He stopped. He didn't turn, but she knew he was embarrassed again.

"Hot dogs," he said.

* * *

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

SATPA part 6

I stole a phrase from Roguelane. Thank you!

* * *

Pepper stared at the closed the door.

She took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled.

"Oh, my God," she whispered. She couldn't believe what just happened.

_Hew! That was awkward_.

The mocking tone was more than Pepper could stand. She'd just put Tony –and herself- in the most embarrassing situation ever -one that could have cost her the best job she'd ever had!

Awkward was an understatement.

_Oh, lighten up! _

Pepper closed her eyes in exasperation. She couldn't go on like this, holding imaginary conversations like a lonely teenager. She was an adult, for God's sake; it was time she started behaving like one.

Determined, she turned and tossed the white box in the suitcase. She closed the suitcase, pushed it to the back of the trunk, then shut the trunk with an imaginary bang. _That_ was the end of this crazy episode of her friendship with Karen. There'd be no more snide remarks from now on; no more imaginary conversations, and, more importantly, no more acting against her better judgment.

Briskly, she started picking her stuff; first she'd go to the guest room and freshen up, then she'd go downstairs and help Tony defrost whatever he was in the mood for, ('did he say hot dogs? it sounded like hot-dogs'); then they'd talk business and eat. There was so much to do, after all; Tony was getting the Apogee Award in two days, he was flying to Afghanistan the day after… There were schedules to establish, decisions to be made...

'Adults behaving like adults,' Pepper thought pointedly.

Her inner Karen didn't utter a peep.

* * *

Pepper's plans started to crumble the minute she set foot in the kitchen. Tony was there, putting soda cans in a cooler.

"We're not eating here," he said.

"But we always eat here."

"Exactly," he said. He paused to give her a glance over. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," she said casually, then she remembered she wasn't supposed to be all that well. "I have a little headache; but -"

"Headache?" He frowned.

"It's nothing," she said quickly. Personal Assistants weren't supposed to have headaches.

He eyed her thoughtfully.

"Tell you what," he said, "I'll brew you some tea later on. One of Master Tsiao's infusions. It'll make you feel better. You're not feeling queasy or anything, are you?"

"I'm not, Tony, really."

"Good. 'Cause I got some good food waiting." He picked the cooler. "Get the glasses will ya?"

She picked the glasses and followed him into the hallway. Idly, she noticed he'd showered and changed clothes -loose fitting jeans and a long-sleeved shirt; comfortable clothes that he'd worn for years, cherished for some reason she couldn't fathom. It certainly had nothing to do with fashion or comfort; he just liked some things better than others. But why...?

He glanced over his shoulder.

"We should do this outside," he said. "But you're feeling under the weather, so…" He paused just as they came into the living room. "We're gonna eat here."

She took a look inside and gaped. The cushions that normally adorned the couches were now on the floor, arranged in a semi circle in front of the fire.

"Whoa," she said. "When did you do all this?"

He walked past her.

"Take a seat," he said cordially.

"But -"

"Have a drink," he added, putting the cooler on the carpet.

Pepper gingerly sat down, (you didn't just plop down on cashmere cushions) and dutifully picked a can of soda.

"Can I help?" she said.

"No, thanks. You're my guest; sit back and enjoy the music." He paused. There was no music. He raised his gaze. "JARVIS?"

"_Yes, Mr. Stark?" _

"Campfire mix, please. And you," he added, looking at Pepper. "Sit back and relax. Tell me about New York."

Pepper obediently sat back and told him about her trip, but she couldn't quite relax, not with Tony doing all the work. She knew better than to offer her assistance though, and truth be told, it didn't look like he needed any. Tony'd brought a portable grill to the living room, along with packages of sausages, buns, and bottles of mustard and relish. He deftly split the buns, and now was carefully turning sausages so they browned evenly.

She smiled. "I don't think I saw you cook before."

"Well. It's not Coq au Vin, but…Everybody likes a hot-dog." He glanced at her. "You like them, right?"

"Love them."

"You're in for a treat then," he said immodestly; "I mean, they say the best come from New York but I think mine are pretty good."

"How often do you do this? I've never seen any sign of your cooking."

"Oh, I don't cook in here. Normally, I go down to the beach at night, and -"

"The beach?"

"It depends on the weather," he added. He lowered his voice. "Sometimes I skinny-dip too."

Pepper's eyes bulged.

"You do what?"

Tony shrugged. "It's really not that cold."

"Forget about the cold. Is it safe?"

"Yeah, it is." He looked up, noticed she wasn't mollified yet. "I swear, Potts. It's a secluded spot; the Paps will never spot me."

"But what about -"

"And I check on the weather before I go down there," he cut in. He smiled. "And I don't bring any booze."

She smiled a little. Tony was very open about his own weaknesses.

She watched him work a little more, then, "By the way, do you have your speech for the Apogee Award ceremony?"

"Pepper, you know me; I don't need to prepare speeches."

Pepper narrowed her eyes. "Planning on skipping the ceremony, are you?"

Tony smiled impishly.

"Oh, Tony. This is a very important award."

"Important to who? I didn't ask for it."

"No; Obadiah did. And if you don't attend the ceremony -"

"He'll cover for me. He's the one who campaigned for the award, he's welcome to it." He frowned. "Do you really wanna talk about work right now? Technically, you're still on vacation."

"Well, I don't feel comfortable sitting here, while you do all the work."

"Tell you what," he said. "You cook breakfast for me tomorrow; then we'll be even."

"You don't eat breakfast."

He smiled.

Pepper sighed. Ah, well. She might as well sit back and relax. There was so much to enjoy, after all: the music –soft rock from the seventies- the softness of the cushions and the carpet, and Tony's quirky turn as cook.

He looked up, and seemed surprised to see her still looking at him.

"I forgot; you want mustard with this?"

"Sure."

"What about coleslaw and pickles?"

"I'd like lots of coleslaw, please. And one pickle." She didn't like pickles, but felt bad about saying so.

Moments later, they were eating hot dogs, picking them from a plate he'd set between them.

He'd dug into his food with little ceremony; she ate more daintily but just as steadily. She didn't realize how hungry she was till she finished her second hot-dog.

He smiled at her with his mouth full. "It's good, huh?"

She nodded. She would have gladly eaten a third but held back because, after all, she was supposed to be feeling under the weather.

Tony certainly didn't forget; he insisted on making her the tea.

"It's guaranteed to cure every infection known to man." He paused for a couple of seconds, then, "Well. Maybe not every infection." His eyes twinkled humorously.

She grinned. She raised the mug to her lips, took a sip… and had difficulty keeping the smile. The tea tasted awful and was sweeter than she liked.

"It's good, huh?"

Tony looked so pleased she didn't have the heart to say no. She merely smiled and pretended to take another sip. The minute he looked away she'd get rid of the tea. She covertly glanced around, gauging her chances. There were flowerpots all around her; she could easily pour the tea in them… But what about the orchids? Who knew what the tea might do to them?

Finally, she picked a paper napkin and wrapped it around the mug, then she tilted the mug ever so slightly until the napkin was soaked. Soon, the tea was half gone.

Meanwhile, Tony seemed restless. His foot followed the beat of every song they listened to.

I've been searching for the Daughter of the devil in the town

I've been searching for an angel in white

I've been searching for a woman who's a little of both...

Pepper looked up just in time to see Tony covertly eyeing her white outfit. He raised his gaze and realized she was watching. He eyed her thoughtfully.

Feeling inexplicably flustered, (she wasn't the one who got caught staring, after all), Pepper forced a smile.

"I didn't know you liked the Eagles."

He raised an eyebrow. "You didn't? Then you've been lax in your duties, Miss Potts. You're supposed to know everything about me." He paused. "Or maybe you do," he added a bit wearily.

Their gazes met, and Pepper knew exactly what he was thinking of.

The vibrator.

And here she thought they'd put that episode behind them.

She looked down for a couple of seconds, then looked up, ready to apologize. To her surprise, (and relief) there was a playful gleam in his eyes.

"That was embarrassing," he said sheepishly.

She smiled just as uncomfortably, but now she was glad he'd brought the matter up. It was better than to pretend it never happened, and besides, she had a legitimate interest in the matter.

"Do you think there might be other, er, devices that I should be on the lookout for? You know, on EBay, or…"

"I don't think so. Not of that kind, anyway." He snorted, "Obie would have a stroke if he found out about that one. He thought he'd incinerated every copy."

Pepper looked up.

"Maybe I should incinerate this one too."

"You would? What about your friend?"

She shrugged. "I'll get her something else."

"Someone else's," Tony added humorously.

She smiled back. She was going to say something, when a sudden thought struck her.

"Wait a second," she said. "'Not of that kind,' you said. What does that mean?"

"Weeeell. There's something I did in my misspent youth…." He let the word trail off.

He looked so contrite she was immediately on her guard.

"What is it?" He didn't immediately reply, which only added to her worry. "What did you do?"

"You tell me. What is the worst thing you could imagine me doing?"

"Oh, no," she said, shaking her head. "I'm not going there."

"Why not? You know me; you know what I'm capable of. What's the most disgusting thing I could do?"

"How can I even…?"

"Go ahead, guess."

"Tony, you're my boss -"

"Yeah, but I'm your pal too." He tapped her foot with his own as he spoke, a gesture that was playful and yes, friendly. "Go on. Speculate."

Pepper sighed. She knew what a man in Tony's position could do, especially considering his occupation. Yet no matter how ruthless a business man, Tony Stark's worst behavior had never hurt anyone but himself.

The thought made her a bit sad.

"Well?" Tony insisted. "Say something."

Pepper shrugged. "You posed for nude pictures...?"

"Yes, I did. But it was for artistic purposes."

Pepper gave him a skeptical look.

"I'm serious," he said. "I didn't even get paid. That painting of me's hanging in a little church that -"

She waived her hands as if to block him, "I don't wanna know."

"Hey, that little old lady insisted I was the perfect Adam! How could I say no to her?"

Pepper sighed. "Oh, Tony -"

"But that's not the worst thing I've done." He was about to say something more, then backed down. "Nah. I'd better not say anything. It's too disgusting."

This only fueled her curiosity, (which is what he intended, of course). "What is it?"

Tony took a deep breath as if to gather the courage to speak.

"Ok. I, Anthony E. Stark, cut a demo tape."

"A demo tape? You mean, a music tape?" Tony nodded slightly. "But that's not so bad."

"You say it like it was a cute thing to do. It wasn't. I recorded a bunch of Country and Western songs."

"Country…?" Pepper had trouble saying the words. It _was_ shocking. "But you hate Country –well, not hate-hate, but…" She stared at him. "I can't believe it."

"Hey, I was only fourteen; what did I know? And those Nashville guys were very convincing; they said -"

"Oh, my God. Fourteen? Did your parents know?" But she knew the answer to that. Then, because it was her job to protect his reputation, "Do the tapes still exist?"

"I don't think so. I even bought the studio to ensure they'd been destroyed. But you never know."

She nodded slowly.

"So. A tape." She smiled a little. "It could be worse, I guess."

"That's because you never listened to it," he retorted. "I sounded like a girl."

"Still. It's kind of… sweet." She smiled. "I wish I could hear it."

He eyed her speculatively for a moment, then rose. "Wait here," he said.

She glanced over her shoulder, saw him walk to the far end of the room, where his favorite guitar was.

_Nice ass_, she thought idly, then quickly turned her head so he wouldn't know she'd been watching.

"I still remember one of the songs," Tony said as he returned. He sat by the chimney this time, his cherished guitar on his lap. He tentatively strummed a melody, frowned, then tried again.

Pepper changed seats too; on her knees, she moved until she was facing Tony; an audience of one.

"Oh, yeah," Tony muttered suddenly. He looked up. "I think I got it."

Pepper called out in a high voice, "Oh, Mr. Stark, what are you going to sing?"

"Well, young lady," he said gruffly; "I'm gonna sing you a very manly song."

Pepper put her down her mug, then clapped noisily.

Tony sang,

Funny face, I love you

Funny face, I need you  
My whole world's wrapped up in you

Pepper clamped a hand on her mouth. This was the last thing she expected to hear.

Tony was having a hard time keeping a straight face himself. He looked away first, then finally closed his eyes in order to sing the next verse.

When the road I walk seems all uphill

And the colors in my rainbow turn blue

You kiss the tears away

You smile at me and say

"Funny face, funny face, I love you"

Pepper smiled goofily. Just when she thought nothing Tony did could surprise her, he went out and did something unexpected and completely adorable. In a way, it was almost as if… well, as if she were seeing him for the first time ever.

She leant closer, listening and following his every move. He looked cute with his eyes closed, singing earnestly of someone's face.

Funny face, I love you

Funny face, I need you  
These are the sweetest words I've ever heard -

She was mesmerized. Mesmerized, bewitched -yeah, those words would do. How else to explain what happened next?

She, the least spontaneous person in the world, leant forward and, just as Tony was starting the chorus again -Funny Face, I love you – she closed the distance and pressed her mouth on his.

It wasn't a real kiss; it was, well, an invitation –a brief one. She pulled back a little, just enough to look at him and gauge his reaction. Tony's lips were parted and slightly curved in a smile, and his eyes were closed, as if he were still feeling her kiss. And then he blinked his eyes open and –BAM! They almost popped out of their sockets.

It was as if he'd momentarily forgotten who he was with and now it hit him, all of a sudden.

He instantly pulled back.

"Gee, Potts," he muttered. "If you don't want me to sing, just say so."

Pepper felt her face burn to the tips of her ears. Embarrassed, she raised her mug to her lips –not to drink the tea but to hide behind it.

Tony quickly took the mug out of her hand.

"Ooops, no more tea for you, Miss Potts!" He took a quick whiff at the tea, then he looked back at her. "Pepper? You ok? Not dizzy or anything?"

"I…I don't..." She didn't know what to say. Her hesitation only added to Tony's worry. He put the tea and the guitar on the floor, then looked closely into her eyes.

Pepper didn't move, pined down by those beautiful eyes –and how come she never noticed they were a shade darker at the center….?

"That son of a bitch," Tony muttered under his breath. "He must have put something extra in it. But what…?"

Pepper quickly put two and two together. Tony' obviously thought his herbalist had added what he called "happy pods" to the tea leaves, something he'd done at the very beginning of their association.

That she'd barely tasted the tea wasn't something she was about to mention.

"I'm... a bit dizzy," she said. She hated lying but it was better than admitting she'd wanted to lick the mustard off her boss' mouth.

"Oh, man," Tony muttered. "I'm so sorry, Potts."

"Maybe I ought to…" she vaguely glanced in the hallway's direction.

"Sure," he said, helping her to her feet. "You'll just got to sleep it off." They stood face to face now, his hand gently wrapped around her arm.

He looked worried and apologetic all at once.

"Come on," he said. "I'll help you."

"No!" She abruptly pulled back, then regretted doing so. "I'm fine, Tony. I just… I need to lie down, and -" She flushed again. "I'll be ok. Thanks."

"Drinks lots of water," he said kindly. "It usually helps."

She nodded. She turned and started walking away, on legs that were inexplicably wobbly. She didn't stop till she was in the safety of the guest room.

* * *

TBC

Funny Face was sung by Donna Fargo.


End file.
